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Showing posts from August, 2010

Trying to figure it all out

It is not the cacophony of a chaotic house with a toddler (the house is not that noisy or disorganized) but the cacophony of my own head which is holding me up. My own desires that confound me now that a baby is here.

There is so much time to make up for....times when I have not been as considerate of my partner as I would like to have been, times for active pausing, allowing relativity to be a friend in the days I am with Pablo, compression of time while training -- I can't do 4 hours a day, 5 days a week every week; I have to find a way to get the same conditioning done in 2, maybe 3 unless I'm rehearsing.

There is the desire to purge my life of things that attach to a suddenly irrelevant past, things purchased when low or selfish, things that encroach on the breathing space I feel we all need as a threesome.

Breathing! OH if i could only remember to do that. And again I don't mean from the rushing, I mean very peacefully remembering to inhale and exhale fully. Only when …